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February 20, 2006
loss
what if you found out 2 months ago that you were losing both the love of your life and your father in one fell swoop?
what would you do?
would you go inside? would you hide away?
would you scream and cry whenever you could? i would.
what if in the midst of all this, you were asked to go around the world playing music that can make you cry? would you do it?
what if your father told you to go and live your dream while he lays sick in bed?
and what if she wanted you to be her friend through all of it?
what would you do?
i don't know.
i really don't.
that's a lie.
i know what i would do.
i would do it.
Posted by goldengram at 11:12 PM | Comments (1)
February 11, 2006
trying
i always say i won't try, that i will do,
but that feels hard this week.
we really hit our stride in chapel hill last nite.
at least that is going well.
i can be mean when i am sad. i need to work on that.
luckily i am surrounded by friends that help.
tonite, after the show, i drive to rockford to see mom and dad for a few hours before i head on to nashville.
life is crazy sometimes.
it is important to be mindful of the good things. slow down for a minute.
i've started road yoga again, gotta keep it up now.
oh yeah, the other bands.
king of france is kick ass piano guitar rock and they are very funny on stage.
plus great dudes.
nada surf is a sick power trio with deservedly adoring fans.
they rule. and they couldn't be sweeter.
and we all get along and laugh and quote movies and songs and blah blah blah.
you know, all the usual cool bands getting to know each other stuff.
love,
g
Posted by goldengram at 03:33 PM | Comments (0)
February 09, 2006
keep writing
write a lot of sad songs to make you feel better,
think of all the bad things, write them in a letter.
but don't send it, god no.
burn it and cry.
say all the mean things out loud,
you're not proud when you're alone.
Posted by goldengram at 05:35 PM | Comments (0)
February 08, 2006
oh baltimore
ok.
i will stop titling my entries with "oh the name of the city"
maybe.
i have been up since this morning in amsterdam.
getting near 24 hours maybe?
ah. whatever.
i am crazy from no sleep and so far to go still.
it is OK.
europe was cool.
we just played our first show with nada surf in baltimore. sold out. neat.
love,
gg
Posted by goldengram at 07:54 PM | Comments (1)
February 07, 2006
oh amsterdam
hi,
amsterdam is always fun to hang out with my friend, joris.
rocking.
maybe the show is sold out i might have heard.
graag = very much
gaaf = cool
tomorrow we play in baltimore. what a day it is going to be.
love,
gg
Posted by goldengram at 11:01 AM | Comments (0)
February 05, 2006
saddest
tonite we played in berlin @ tacheles.
very nice.
the shows have been well attended and we're playing well.
it's all fine.
last nite in hamburg we stayed out very late @ tomte's record release party.
sweet.
it is definitely different here. by the time i left, there were 8 or 10 people asleep on couches upstairs and no one was trying to kick them out. and the german dance party was in serious effect into the wee hours of the nite.
but,
i must confess. i am sad. sadder than i can ever remember being. even though such great things are happening for the band right now, my personal life is heavier than ever.
in the week before christmas, i found out my dad has pancreatic cancer.
and i became single again.
i am so confused and scared and angry and sad and all of it.
i don't even know how to sort it all out now.
being on tour, i am distracted, but in the quiet moments, like now, it hits me like a jackhammer.
my heart aches.
it is 1:30 am.
i sit in the lobby of a hostel in berlin watching people watch the super bowl.
life is hard.
my mother said in an email that all of this is too much for a young heart to bear,
but i think that there is nothing the heart can't bear.
you deal with what you have to.
and that is what i'll do.
i love my father.
gg
Posted by goldengram at 04:27 PM | Comments (1)
February 03, 2006
oh koln
day off yesterday in cologne (koln is how they say it, i can't get the umlaut to show up though)
hung out at the train station where i got a haircut and a bratwurst and a weizen.
all were excellent.
tonite we play @ prime club.
only a few more shows and then back to the warm states.
lovely,
gg
Posted by goldengram at 03:14 AM | Comments (0)