goldengram

how i became alternative

early in life, i drew. a lot. cartoons and landscapes and tanks and planes and guns and superheroes. i drew as much as i read. that was mostly what i did until high school, besides watch TV. a lot of times i drew while watching TV.
i took great pleasure in drawing on my school book covers.
early in my freshman year of high school, when i was still kind of considering going to the air force academy (where my elementary school best friend ended up in true nerd fashion) i was hanging out in front of the drama room where all the older cooler kids stood around between classes.
so, i'm holding this book and on the cover there is this full page spread i did of whatever middle eastern leader we were against at the time, khadafi i think, and some tanks and planes and guns and some army guy yelling "die khadafi!" with a grenade in his hand. just some leftover standard jr. high war doodles that i probably should have been growing out of.
shannon slaton saw it. he was cool and weird and in drama and looked like one of those guys from 120 minutes on MTV. actually, he looked a lot like thomas dolby from what i recall. he had weird big hair and usually wore creepers, baggy slacks, an old tshirt, and a vest from a thrift store suit.
shannon ran for vice president of student council and his campaign speech during the morning announcements consisted of him playing guitar and singing a song he wrote in which he imitated the delusional head football coach's (who happened to be the father of a closeted gay boy that was in most of my classes) weekly morning announcements telling the school how "we're still in this" even though we'd lost every game in the season so far. it mostly went "this is coach allen, we're still in this, we're still in this, we're still in this." he had my heart with that performance.

so i'm standing around and shannon sees this book cover, grabs it from me and throws it down the hall, hard and far, outside the drama room.
i was in a very transitory phase, skating since 5th grade but not really a part of 'skate culture', growing my hair out, trying to figure out how to dress cooler, deciding what kind of music i liked, starting to question whether i really wanted to follow my father's career path...
so he throws this big history book and yells at me about being some warmonger and how i should be promoting peace or something. i can't even really remember what he said now, and it isn't really the point. it was crazy, he really flipped out. i was just flabbergasted. i thought he was the coolest ever.
and as i walked to pick up the book, i knew i was going to be different from then on.
in retrospect, i can pinpoint that as the moment i decided i wanted to be alternative.

i went home that night, took my books into the garage and spray painted peace signs on every one of them. they stunk like crazy the next day, but i felt better. i felt more a part of something.
within a month, i had shaved the sides of my head, bleached the remaining part on top and my jeans as well. in one fell swoop, i no longer cared about being accepted by the elite.
finally, i didn't have to try to be popular or athletic or cool to be accepted.
this may not make that much sense now, but i was so happy that shannon took the time to call me out. to teach me something, to make an effort to show me how to not be like everyone else if i so chose. a popular kid would have just made fun of me for the drawing, or even more likely, completely ignored me.
but not shannon slaton, he was a man of action. and i'd like to think if he hadn't seen some potential, he would have ignored me too. he didn't have time to go around converting everyone into new wavers.
during the first week of school, he came up to one of my friends in the hall and said, "Do you have a Spuds McKenzie shirt?" She said no (She lied). He said, "Great. I made you this tape." That is awesome!

a few months later, at a thespian party, i saw the movie freaks for the first time and realized where the ramones had adapted their slogan from.

gabba gabba we accept you, we accept you, one of us.

yes, i would still have to try to fit in, to dress a certain way, but within this community of outcasts, choirboys, artfags, and drama queens, at least it was ok to be creative. to wear something silly. something that said you were different than others but still in your circle.
it was ok to do cartwheels down the hall and when a football player walked by and saw you and asked if you were gay, you'd say yes just to freak him out and get him to leave you alone. and it worked. i loved being alternative.
i still do.

Well I could keep it above
But then it wouldn’t be sky anymore
So if I send it to you you’ve got to promise to keep it whole

Buy the sky and sell the sky and lift your arms up to the sky
And ask the sky and ask the sky...

one more week also too

weird. this is my last monday @ levi's.
ever. funny, it doesn't feel any different than last monday.
our instore on saturday was RAD. i am so excited to play next saturday too.
it has been too long. i cannot wait to be playing almost every night again.

i finally got to see terri's baby, felix. he is the cutest! i acted like an idiot to get him to laugh. i made up the dumbest songs ever and flew him all over the place. man, that kid rules. and he's only 4 months old. i'm going to ask if i can borrow him later.

yesterday i went to lanesplitter twice. first, for lunch by myself.
three young dudes came in and one guy goes there a lot so he is telling his friends what to get and stuff.
so he orders a red rocket ale. which is my favorite. and what i am drinking right then. he tells them its so thirst quenching. he explains some other beers and calls hefeweisen heffewyssen instead of heffeViZen, like how germans would say it. then he tells his friends again how much he loves red rocket cuz its so thirst quenching. one guy gets a hefeweisen and then the other guy says "i'll have one of those also too."
i thought that was funny.
later i ask val, the bartender, if red rocket is the strongest beer they serve.
and the one dude turns to me and says "no, i think the IPA is stronger."
and val says "yeah, the IPAs and most of the russian river beers are stronger than the 7.2% of red rocket." then the guy turns to me and goes, "i just love red rocket, its so thirst quenching."
and i just look at him and smile.
yes it is. i'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that its like drinking 2 regular beers for every 1 red rocket.
its that it is thirst quenching. apparently.

i should have known that pat would want to go to lanesplitter later cuz his brother, joe, is in town. so i went back again for dinner. at least for dinner we had the vegan pizza, so i didn't eat that much more chee.
then we went to see I, Robot.
ok, it was pretty dumb. we also got there late and i think it might have been one of those movies where the 1st few minutes explain stuff you need to know for the rest of it, but, oh well. i think we figured it out. i sort of knew what the 3 laws of robots are anyway. it could have been a good movie. the concept of robots taking over the world to save us from ourselves is pretty good.
if they have to kill some humans along the way, well, its for the greater good. they're proly right. humans (proly americans even) are going to destroy the world eventually.
i like how in the credits it says 'suggested by a book by isaac asimov'
they couldn't even say 'adapted from' and certainly not 'based on'
i read somewhere that in his version, it is a good thing that robots take over.
it might not be so bad. robots are neat mostly.
either way, we thought it would have been a better movie without will smith.
it would have been better with will ferrell.
will ferrell, with his anchorman mustache, doing the exact same lines as will smith and acting the same way.
now that would be a good movie.
after that we went to the ruby room for dj kitty's birthday and i talked to bart davenport for a long long time about music. he's a good one.
the ruby room is the first bar i ever really hung out at in oakland.
i used to go every wednesday when kitty would spin. and we would dance.
me and bart and terri and kitty and a whole lot of other fun kids.
now that place seems a little too smoky for me now.
i was only 25ish back then.

em and lo sent me some more photos. once again proving why i will mostly like never grow a mustache again.
until i can have a gray one maybe.
i know you want to see them. so here you go.
:BEFORE:
:AFTER:
much cuter, don't you agree? yes?

in other news, i saw hard place at the mile high club on saturday and they ruled. they are a mix of so many radio friendly 70s and 80s bands that i can't even begin to list them all. in the best way. the singer had feathered blond hair and an awesome shirt with feathers screenprinted on the chest and sleeves so he looked like he was half hawk and might fly away at any moment. the mile high is cool. i am glad it is in oakland. i will go there more.
i also saw a good friend that i hadn't seen in months.
he was in a bad way the last time i saw him and this time he looked a ton better.
he told me later that nite that the last time we spoke, i had some brutally honest words for him, but that i had told him what he needed to hear and it had helped him pull his life back together. so that made me feel pretty good.

i am going to start posting more pictures for you. cuz they're fun.
oh, also, i ate too many "have'a corn chips" just now. they're so good though.
i ate the whole bag.
i feel bloaty.

ok, bye now.

gg

yoga and mustaches

hi,

friday is fun. especially when you are not at work.
so, some weird stuff has been happening in yoga this week.
there is this way of breathing where you're supposed to kind of hold the back of your throat closed a little so you breathe slower (i am sure that is the worst definition ever) and you can breathe real deep and stuff. well, one yogi told me that you are doing it wrong if your breathing is real loud. apparently, some of the big dudes in class haven't heard that, so there are a few guys around me that sound like horses. it seriously sounds like they're going to strangle themselves, or that they have bad asthma or something.
whatevs, it is a little distracting, but i can deal.
on tuesday, we're yogaing and someone is demonstrating a pose that we are going to do in partners, so i'm watching and i look around and there is one dude eating a cookie and drinking gatorade. weird! i would never think to eat right before yoga, i heard it takes bloodflow away from the body cuz it is being used for digestion. but eating during yoga? and a cookie and gatorade? i smiled real big and reminded myself that everyone gets through life in their own ways.
then on thursday, there is this older guy who always wears real tight black spandex biker shorts, i see him there all the time. he seems pretty nice.
so we are sitting in cross legged pose with our eyes closed and i hear this popping sound so i open my eyes and see him across from me...
chewing gum. he was totally blowing bubbles in half lotus!
hilarious! i kill me. he kills me. i watched him and he chewed his gum for the whole class. isn't that funny?

ajax is growing a mustache, i think it looks pretty good.
and it reminds me of a funny story from just about a year ago.
i had a big mustache last july, the kind with a little soul patch and the sides that go down to your jawline. the kind you wear with a cowboy hat. it was kind of silly in retrospect. so one night i shaved it off. at zeitgeist.
these awesome and mildly crazy girls, em and lo from nerve were on a tour promoting their new book, the big bang, which is a great book exploring the new sexual universe. it is way better than that old lame-o, the joy of sex, really. they have a new book out now that also rules called, nerve's guide to sex etiquette that will tell you when it's appropriate to joke about future kids with a lover, how often you should launder your sheets, when — if ever — you can kick out a one-night stand before sun up, etc. etc.
i love these girls and have been following their exploits for 5 years now, on the internet. so now i finally meet them, and they totally remember me from the nerve message boards years ago. back in '99, they set me up for a nerve personals blind date that ended up in their print magazine.
Sooo, after their thing at Artists Television Access, we all went to zeitgeist. so i think i will let them tell you what happened next, this is excerpted from their tour diary:

After the show we headed over to a dive bar with an outdoor beer garden called Zeitgeist for drinks with a bunch of Em's old friends from her Tripod.com days (including Michelle and her brand new Nerve Personals fiance!), plus the aforementioned book club gang and some other long-time Nerve readers. There we scored another great tip with a catchy nickname from Graham (a.k.a. NerveCenter member "Gram" from the super-early days of Nerve). Graham, who is in a band called Rogue Wave, said he picked up the tip while dating a lesbian. It's called "The Six-Pack," because the grip is the same one you use for carrying a six-pack (see us demonstrating in photo, on left below). Except you're not carrying a six-pack, you're manually stimulating your ladyfriend: Thumb on the clit, one or two fingers in the front door, and another finger chilling on the back porch. Aw yeah. Lo and her boyfriend Joey both took a bit of a shine to Graham and decided he should be Em's party favor. Unfortunately, Em is a little averse to hipster moustaches (and, as Lo would say, to totally cool, nice guys). Fortunately, the deli across the street from Zeitgeist sold disposable razors and shaving foam. Unfortunately, even clean-shaven, Graham was more Lo's type (skinny indie rocker) than Em's (macho mountain man). Sorry Graham. But hey, we'll always have The Six-Pack.
and here is the before and after shot:

so there you go. hopefully i will get to party with those girls again when i am in new york in august. they're doing a kerry benefit the same nite we're playing, but we'll work something out.

ALSO!!!! rogue wave is playing a FREE show at amoeba records in SF this saturday the 24th @ 2 pm. come see me!

love love love,

gg

some mild ranting

on sunday i was at the chevron @ hollis and powell getting a beer. it is the closest place to get beers.
there were all these cute "punks" in there buying snacks.
they seemed more of the mall punk variety, since some of them were talking to the emeryville policeman that was hanging out there in a non-ironic and pleasant manner.
it was kinda sweet to see and it warmed my heart just slightly.
i started reading the kid's shirt in line in front of me.
it was bright red and went well with his 2 studded leather collars, shaved head, chain wallet and black 3/4 lengths shorts and reeboks.
his shirt said:

Homelessness is not an isolated event.
Homelessness is the result of child abuse.
Homelessness is the result of domestic violence.
Homelessness is the result of untreated mental illness.
Homelessness is the result of untreated addiction.
Homelessness is the result of Veterans being discarded.
Homelessness is the result of layoffs.
Homelessness is the result of catastrophic medical bills.
Homelessness is the result of
COMPULSIVE WEALTH ACCUMULATION DISORDER.

Okay then.
i like that concept, its a good way to express american's overwhelming need to buy and consume to feel good about themselves.
and yeah, homelessness is caused by those things. but also one other that i can think of.
LAZINESS!!! hello!? have you ever noticed how much homeless people just basically sit around? when is the last time you saw one exercising or cutting their nails or, you know, picking up trash or something?
i did see one piss in the street in front of arinell's when i was having a slice last week. he did it right in front of me and looked at me while he was doing it.
then he started rambling incoherently about being mad. they do that. its true.
anyways,
i was actually just about to tell the pimply bespectacled kid in chevron that i liked his shirt when i looked down and saw what he was buying.
i kid you not folks:
spicier nacho doritos (TM), snyders of hanover pretzel bites, beer nuts (TM), and a sobe (TM) green tea.
what? no. i'm lost. so you're like, anti-corporate greed and pro-homeless and stuff, and you're buying some of the most heavily marketed, nutritionally devoid snacks in existence?
so it turns out the shirt is for a band called fifteen, which is the dude from crimpshrine, remember them? they are like, political and stuff. a bay area hardcore band from the 80's. i remember the kids that liked them when i lived in houston,
they had dirty everything and drank lots of soda and went dumpster diving a lot. they did things like 'bagel' people's yards and go to food not bombs things and eat the free food even though they still lived with their parents.
bageling is when you steal all the old bagels out of the dumpster and leave them all over the lawn of someone you don't like. actually, i guess thats kinda funny. anyways again,
this kid is cleaner than that. maybe he just thinks that fifteen rocks and that the red accessorizes well with his (presumably) mostly black wardrobe.

now, if this entry can get any more interesting, just the night before, i accompanied my friend as she fed her neighbor's rat and turtle in a house inhabited by what many in my circles would refer to as "crusty punks".
the room with the animals reeked to high heaven of rancid diapers and rotting broccoli (seriously, this room smelled worse than anything i have ever smelled, like a carpet that several people were killed on 50 years ago that someone just dumped a bunch of 'carpet fresh' on and then shut the door)
we were trying to imagine what the guy is going to do when gets home from vacation and opens the door, "aaah, home sweet home..."
the rest of the house had more of a generic stale house where the windows are never opened smell, and yet it was still surprisingly tidy.
the thing that got me here was another unusual juxtaposition.
anti-corporate, and specifically anti-bush propaganda all over the house. crazy goth, necromancer, gross out posters and sculptures and just generally weird subversive shit is everywhere.
yet sitting on the 'entertainment center' is Grand Theft Auto 3 with a little sheet of paper slipped in the cover listing all the cheat codes.
am i crazy here?
what am i missing? what are they missing?
i suppose it is too much to ask for the kids to practice what they preach?
to open their minds all the way instead of just enough to go around talking about homeless people being oppressed by corporations and the government while munching on doritos and playing x-box? well, i guess so.

also, that rat is the fattest one i have ever seen. when it got it's food, it went STRAIGHT FOR THE CARBS.

ajax, this one's for you,

gg

some day yes i will.

hi,

i once wrote a song (i'll try to post it here tonite if its not too big) called i can't quit my job. the words were simple "i can't quit my job, i can't quit my job, but some day yes i will." and that was it.

i quit my job today. my last day is july 30th. i can't believe i really did it. it was the coolest thing ever. i feel SO awesome right now. i'm jumping up and down inside. YES!!!!!!!
can you believe it? 5 years at this place. my first day at levi's was june 29th, 1999. yeah. our record is out and the sun is shining and my world rules.
hope yours does too.

love,

gg

coming out

today is the day! Out of the shadow is released on SUB POP.
it is available online and on Itunes and everything. yeah!
Seems like just yesterday we were at our lawyer's office signing our lives away.
oh how time flies when you're having the best time of your life.
oh yeah, we have a cool message board on our rw site that you can write silly stuff on. go do it!
also, do your hair!
seriously, do your hair! do it cooler!
go!

happy shopping!

gg

mmmhhhh....

yum, i'm grillin' today. mushrooms, eggplants, squash. nummy. i made it 12 days on the fast. i'm gonna do it again for sure, maybe it will be come an after tour ritual. it felt so good. i made a song yesterday for you, it is called guitar jig.
just a little instrumental ditty. tonite i'm going to see joanna newsom and devendra banhart with my bandmates who have been out of town for a while. i'm excited. our record comes out on tuesday on subpop. thats amazing.
joanna's record, the milk-eyed mender floors me. wow. it makes my insides warm as i sit here listening.
she has a rad video here.

love love love,

gram

9 days...

well fellow adventurers,
i have been subsisting on my lemonade drink for the past 9 days.
i feel AWESOME! i have so much energy its kinda silly. my weight has stabilized and i've been doing lots of yoga and it rules.
i'm sleeping well and waking up early without an alarm and getting all kinds of stuff done around the house.
4th of july weekend was pretty easy too. i just bring my jug of brown goo with me wherever i go. i am definitely going to be doing this at least once a year. maybe after every tour even.
it is so nice to let my digestive system relax. i can fell my body healing itself.
i'm going to go until saturday unless something weird happens this week.
i've been reading on my interweb that the cleanse really starts working after the 10th day. which would be tomorrow. it is amazing how little i crave food. makes me realize that the urge to eat can be an addiction like anything else.
yes, i know you have to eat to survive but judging from this week, you can eat a lot less than you think and be just fine.
and you know what else?
the food i am fantasizing about eating next weekend is all yummy fruits and vegetables. i can't wait to get back to the farmer's market next saturday. some spinach, tomatoes, raw cashews, avocados... mmmmhhh. it'sa gonna be rad.
back to work on wednesday. 3 day weeks rule.
A.C. Newman @ bottom of the hill on friday. life is good.

love,

gg

sometimes nothing is a real cool hand...

i've eaten nothing since sunday. i am fasting. i have been drinking this master cleanse thing. fresh squeezed lemon and lime, grade B maple syrup, and cayenne pepper in distilled water. its tastes GOOD.
you're supposed to do it for 10 days. i am at 5.
we'll see if i make it through the weekend.
after the first 3 days, i'm not even hungry anymore. crazy.
i would like to have a beer on the 4th of july though. we shall see.
i watched cool hand luke again last nite. i highly recommend it if you haven't seen it in a while. paul newman is my hero as of late.
now for a long weekend of relaxation. i have zero plans and that is AWESOME.

love,

gg